The morning after

I’ve woken up this morning feeling soooo much better. It was like I needed to let it all out last night and now I can start again with a clean slate. It sounds weird but I find self-harm can do that for me. It seems that I let everything build up and then ‘pop’ it releases. I just need to figure out how I can let it out little by little rather than it being a big explosion.  As the saying goes ‘I am still learning’ 

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7 thoughts on “The morning after

  1. I’m glad you feel renewed. I think I had a night much like yours. But instead, I didn’t purge, I just binged late, got blind drunk, have taken far too many fat blocking tablets and diuretics and this morning feel absolutely unrenewed, in fact I would probably say verging on hopeless and suicidal. But alas, another day to some how negotiate with a feeling that if this is all that’s on offer, I don’t want it. Absolutely out of control and it frightened the hell out of me. Keep fighting the good fight, as I see it, someone’s got to beat this and I truly hope it’s you my friend because you deserve it and have done nothing but fight like a dog to gain some kind of life for yourself. xxx

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    1. I’m so sorry you’re in this shitty place too. I can almost feel how tired and ill your body must feel before we even think about how much your brain will be torturing you. Be kind to yourself today, it will pass. All you need to do today is stay alive. That’s the only thing. Just hang in there today and face tomorrow when it comes. Sending you love, and a reminder that you deserve it too x

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  2. So sorry you’re in this dark place, I know just how you feel, the intensity of the lows just knocks me for six and I just can’t see them coming. It’s frightening. I too, turn to self harm as a release but am trying other methods to relieve the anxiety- have you tried holding ice or a very cold shower as a means of release? Keep on swimming xx

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    1. In the moment I didn’t try anything else but a cold shower is a really good suggestion and I think it could actually work-I will really try to try it next time- thank you!

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  3. hello xx sorry to hear that things have been difficult for you lately xx thinking of you and sending wishes for a better week ahead xx Em

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