I saw my doctor this morning and he mentioned by BMI as part of the review. I didn’t pay too much attention to this at the time until I was just walking home and I thought hmm, he mentioned a number, I’ll just have a little check of that myself (why? who knows? complete ED behaviour) and I’ve realised that they have my height wrong on the system.
When I first started in the clinic I told them my height was an inch (2cm) less than it is and they never measured me. I was underweight at this point and thought that giving a shorter height would give me a little more leeway in terms of weight (EDs turn us into sneaky lying souls). While that strategy was useful for a while (i.e. while I was delighted to be coming out with a higher BMI than I actually had), now I’m really annoyed about it. I don’t want them to think my BMI to be higher than it actually is.
This is so irrational- BMI is such a crude measurement- I’ve always protested this. So why now should I care if they think it’s higher than it actually is. I don’t really mind my doctor thinking that, but I’m embarrassed about my counsellor thinking it. Which makes no sense. I think it’s tied in with me wanting to be ‘a good anorexic’ in terms of being thin enough. I have been caught in this horrible ‘thin enough’ web so many times before and I know it’s unhelpful.
I will move past this, and I know it’s not really a big deal, but right now I’m just riding out my irrational annoyance!