I faced the world for 4 hours today. It was enough. The plan was to just hang on until my appointment tomorrow where I could get some help to figure things out and how to get through the next while. Then I got a call saying my appointment had been cancelled. So I gave up, came home and have been in bed ever since. I feel safe here, hiding, ignoring the world. 

I wish I could stay here until all the negative thoughts have gone away. But life goes on so I can’t. I will get up tomorrow and go about my day as that’s what will help. Hiding seems like the best solution right now, but long term engaging in life is where it’s at. It feels like every bit of my brain and body wants to avoid the world, but I won’t. And that’s where recovery is found, deep down when you know that you will do it even when you don’t know how. That’s where I show my progress and my fight. 

Thanks for the comments yesterday, you’ve no idea how much they mean. 


8 thoughts on “Hiding

    1. Gratefully received xxx Funnily enough I keep thinking about the maffetone method and trying to apply it to how I need to approach life, I need to do enough that my ‘heart rate’ (mood rate) stays in the right zone, and if it goes above or below, adapt and evaluate as you said, try get it back to steady. I’m not sure it was intended for emotional regulation but it helps!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It does! It’s a holistic approach and I think that the exercise at a low level so as not to stimulate cortisol release (stress) is combined wit trying to manage stress! So meditation, relaxation self awareness etc whatever works😊

        Liked by 1 person

      1. Reading and commenting is helping me so much right now- it’s nice to feel connected to the real world (an online world, but still far more real than demons in my head world). I read all your posts but I’m not very good at commenting sorry :/


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s