I’ve been hanging in there. I’ve been being the positive one. I’ve done self care. I’ve taken my medication. I’ve been eating. I’ve been resting. I’ve been keeping a food diary. I’ve been going to yoga. I’ve been going to my appointments. I’ve been doing all the things I should. But things are hard tonight. Things are not all okay. And it’s hard to realise that even when you do everything you should things can still not be okay.
There’s too much grey right now. Too many decisions. Too many people to hurt. Too much not knowing what is okay, alongside the realisation that I’m not okay. Just for tonight, I know things will be better, but for tonight I need it to be okay that I’m not okay.