When you realise everything is not okay 

I’ve been hanging in there. I’ve been being the positive one. I’ve done self care. I’ve taken my medication. I’ve been eating. I’ve been resting. I’ve been keeping a food diary. I’ve been going to yoga. I’ve been going to my appointments. I’ve been doing all the things I should. But things are hard tonight. Things are not all okay. And it’s hard to realise that even when you do everything you should things can still not be okay.

There’s too much grey right now. Too many decisions. Too many people to hurt. Too much not knowing what is okay, alongside the realisation that I’m not okay. Just for tonight, I know things will be better, but for tonight I need it to be okay that I’m not okay. 


10 thoughts on “When you realise everything is not okay 

  1. It’s Okay. Whatever it is it will be OK. Take a deep breath and ride it out. If there are changes, evaluate and adapt. It may mean a lot of work, but you can take it at your own pace. But you will be OK Sending you love and hugs🤗🤗

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  2. Recovery is where you are. But life still throws shit, moods can still be bad but you are choosing not to abuse food to cope with it….

    Tonight, I’m putting my head down in a treatment facility after this disease nearly stole my life last Wednesday…..

    It’s what we suffer and it is a horrible horrible disease. Keep fighting. One hour at a time. Xxxx

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    1. You’ve no idea how reassuring it is to know you’re listening Em. The darkness is overwhelming when it comes but I know now that people can still peek in to shine a light, and that it won’t last forever. It’s rough right now, but it won’t be forever. I keep repeating ‘darkness doesn’t last forever, dawn always comes’ We’ve made it this far haven’t we?!

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      1. Exactly xx one step at a time MQR – you’re not on your own and we _have_ made it this far xx dawn always comes, hang in there lovely and take any chance to be kind to yourself that you can xxx thinking of you, Em


    1. It sucks doesn’t it? But now I have some perspective (just a little tiny window for the moment) I can se that trying and things being tough is better than not trying and things being tough, as at least if all I can do is hide then I know I’ve tried my best. That’s all we can do, and if it’s not everyday, that’s fine too. Hugs back at you x

      Liked by 1 person

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