I was at a conference today and I asked a question – which is totally unlike me as I normally feel like the stupidest person in the room so I would never open my mouth (in other situations you can’t shut me up, but in academic ones I go shy!)
Anyway, the lovely man answered my question and then afterwards the head of a research group affiliated with the topic of what I asked came up and gave me their card (at what point in life am I grown up enough to need a business card?! I can’t ever picture that!) and said they’d like to meet for a coffee sometime to chat further if I was interested!
I’m definitely going to contact them, I have no more smart things to say but it’s a topic I’m interested in (families) so why not?
If I were as unwell as my ED brain would have me believe is a worthwhile goal I a)wouldn’t have been at the conference b) wouldn’t have been brave enough to speak up c) might have been less approachable – if I looked visibly sick then people may presume I’m, well, sick and d) would be worried about what the lady thought of me when she came up to me.
It was an interesting reflection for me. On one hand I want to look ill, but on the other hand I see people who look ill and I think they’re probably very smart competent people but they are clearly in the throes of a serious illness that must affect their competency somewhat. Now I know of course that you can be seriously ill and not look it (*puts hands up*) but this is about my drive for me to look like I have an eating disorder.
This was one time when I didn’t want to have an eating disorder. This was a positive real life event that had nothing to do with my size or weight.
Today’s reason for being healthy is because it frees up brain space to focus on my career. Seems like a good one for the list I think!