Day 9 and the pain au chocolat

So today I ate a chocolate croissant. I have not eaten a chocolate croissant for approximately 7 years without purging. They are a binge/unsafe/terrifying concept of a foodstuff. 

But I ate it as my friend ate it. With a good coffee. By the beach. It tasted good. I ate just one and then moved on with my day. I wouldn’t feel brave enough to do it everyday or with other foods yet but I did it today and I will be weighed with my counsellor in a couple of weeks and we can assess if the sky is falling in. 

Small steps that are big steps. I am not a lesser person because I enjoyed it. I don’t care if people reading this think I’m weak or indulgent or fat or anything. I know the people that matter would not think that. I will not measure myself by a chocolate croissant. Neither should you. 

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4 thoughts on “Day 9 and the pain au chocolat

  1. whooooooyeahhhhhh!!!! I’m super glad you had it and were able to enjoy it 🙂 a pain au chocolate and a good coffee with a friend by a beach – bring it on!!! that sounds amazing 🙂 I’m delighted to hear that someone I value in the world (i.e. you) is doing something so beautiful sounding 🙂 and that you were able to just move on after? yes deadleeeee!
    You write “I am not a lesser person because I enjoyed it. I don’t care if people reading this think I’m weak or indulgent or fat or anything” – which is great to read, keep kicking those ed thoughts out of your head. Also for back up let me tell you that I personally really respect and see as valuable the fact that you were able to not only eat a food which has triggering associations – but that you were able to enjoy it 🙂 Enjoyment is what you fully deserve 🙂 and its great to hear that you were able to have the freedom to enjoy it 🙂 I’m so happy and it gives me hope because I’m aiming to have a chocolate croissant at some stage during my recovery journey too! I fully appreciate and respect this step for the step that it is 🙂 be proud !!! and also the terms ‘weak, indulgent, fat’ do not belong anywhere near you – I read this and thought – ‘Brave, spontaneous, fun-loving, free, able to appreciate the good things in life and that courageous quality of self-care’ 🙂

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