All okay so far but in a bit of a danger zone now as heading home after being out all day while boyfriend is staying out.
If any other day I would purge as soon as I was in the door. I’d be trying to undo the dinner I ate 3 hours ago. But today is different as I’m trying to be honest and accountable.
Short term purging would make me feel better. Long term it feeds into a world where I don’t finish my PhD, I can’t have children, my boyfriend despairs at me, I don’t socialise, I miss out.
I want to purge, but I want a life without an eating disorder more. Action expresses priority, so I am going to try my best to hang on.