Structured eating day 4

All okay so far but in a bit of a danger zone now as heading home after being out all day while boyfriend is staying out. 

If any other day I would purge as soon as I was in the door. I’d be trying to undo the dinner I ate 3 hours ago. But today is different as I’m trying to be honest and accountable.

Short term purging would make me feel better.  Long term it feeds into a world where I don’t finish my PhD, I can’t have children, my boyfriend despairs at me, I don’t socialise, I miss out. 

I want to purge, but I want a life without an eating disorder more. Action expresses priority, so I am going to try my best to hang on. 

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9 thoughts on “Structured eating day 4

  1. you got this!! don’t give into ED. Purging will solve a problem in the moment but just like you said it will NOT solve anything long term and in fact only damage your goals and dreams. Hang in there. Do something to distract yourself: draw, color, write, blog, watch a movie, read, etc.

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  2. I was also thinking while reading this – you deserve to eat dinner every day without having to feel anxiety, doubt or any kind of internal struggle about it – you deserve to have a life where you can eat and enjoy yourself and this is a step towards that 🙂 yay

    Liked by 1 person

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