I just purged and I’m now lying on my bed feeling awful. I had to sit down in the shower after as I felt so nauseous still even after everything was gone, and now I just feel wiped. I have jobs to do- need to get lunch sorted for tomorrow, need to put on a wash, need to dry my hair etc but I don’t think I can pull myself together to do it.
Purging used to make me feel clean, it would give me a boost, afterwards I’d have a spurt of energy and I’d always br stupidly productive in the hour following a purge. Now I just feel tired and sad.
I can feel the illness taking its toll. It’s nothing acute, or critical or dangerous, but just a slow degrading of my body. Eating properly has got my body mostly on track, but I’m kidding myself if I think I can be fully healthy if I keep purging.
I have cut it down to a bare amount, and I’m so proud of myself for that, but I feel like I will forever be stuck with this last little bit, and my poor tired body is having to put up with it.