I’m home home and it’s so lovely. The UK is my home, but Ireland is my home home (do other people use this phrase?!) and it’s really nice to have a few days here to chill with my Mum and catch up with friends. It’s hard living across two countries and sometimes I wish I could make everyone come together in one place so I could be close to everyone, but then at the same time it’s lovely having family in a few different places so I always have somewhere to visit. I know my Mum would like me to move back to live near her, and we have had endless discussions/negotiations/tears/words over this but it’s not the right thing for me and my life right now. It makes me feel guilty and selfish sometimes but looking after my needs is important (it’s taken me a long time to be able to say that!).
I started the day with my favourite thing to do at home which is sea swim. It was cold but not as freezing as I was expecting- just the right amount of ‘refreshing’!. This was followed up by brunch with friends, coffee with my friend’s new (gorgeous) baby and a walk with Mum. It was a really lovely day so I’m trying to not ruin it now by purging but I’m feeling horribly full so I’m not sure how long I’ll last. I always seems to overeat when I’m home to make a point to Mum that ‘look I’m eating I’m all well’ but the only outcome of this really is that I end up purging more when I’m home. It’s ridiculous really and I know I’ll have to address this at some point but that will be a goal for the future- one step at a time, recovery is a marathon not a sprint (and I’m far better at marathons than sprinting anyway!).