Nearly two

I’m sitting in the library debating whether to go get a cup of tea or whether that might lead to me buying chocolate and then purging.  I’m nearly at day two so I’d quite like that not to happen. You’d think it would be in my control but that’s not always the case unfortunately!

I’m having a mixed day. I’ve been up since 4.30am  and it’s now 8pm but I’m in one of those ‘too afraid to stop and where will my mind go’ moods so I’m hiding in the library until I exhaust myself. I couldn’t face going home as I didn’t want to have to talk to anyone. I’m having a productive day study wise but then I got some negative feedback so that threw my a little, although I’ve been trying very hard to not take it personally and to let the negative feelings drift off down the river…. (check out my mindfulness attempt!). I’m also waiting for a colleague to get back to me about a small grant application that needs to be submitted tomorrow: they know that’s the deadline so they should reply but I’m getting anxious that they won’t leading me to obsessively check my inbox. I’ve also had two friends want to text/ talk about some stuff they’re going through, and while I really want to be there for them, my capacity for that has been pretty reduced today, I tried my best but I’m hoping I didn’t across too tired and grumpy.

I am just tired and grumpy I guess! Hopefully that cuppa will help and then I’ll finish my work, walk home, put on a podcast and say good night to day two and my ‘meh’ ness!

Hope you all had a good day, and if not that you sleep well and have energy to start again tomorrow x

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