Noticing progress in the strangest things

So, last night was a bit rough!

I’ve felt under the weather all week, my IBS has been playing up and then I had a meal out with a friend last night and it just tipped me over the edge. I barely made it into my car before I started crying, I got home and purged my dinner and then all I could see was flab and fat and bloating and I felt just awful.

I wanted out of my body and I really really wanted to self harm. At the same time though I really didn’t want to have to deal with hiding cuts and scars from my boyfriend, and all the other nastiness that comes with self-harming. Instead, I took my rage out on my blog, hence the fat rant last night.

So while it was a bit of a negative post, for me it was in fact progress that I took it out on my screen instead of on myself. I cried myself to sleep and this morning I woke up so relieved I hadn’t cut. I went for an early (chilly- winter is coming!) run and that cleared my head a little. I am still horribly bloated and cramping but I know it will pass.

One step back, one step forward…somedays I guess we just need to hang on tight and hope for the best.


One thought on “Noticing progress in the strangest things

  1. I’m so proud of your for not self-harming and for taking it out on your blog here where you can get support, rather than taking it out on yourself. I know how difficult it is to fight the urge to self-harm. You did so well. Give yourself a pat on the back! X


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