Noticing progress in the strangest things

So, last night was a bit rough!

I’ve felt under the weather all week, my IBS has been playing up and then I had a meal out with a friend last night and it just tipped me over the edge. I barely made it into my car before I started crying, I got home and purged my dinner and then all I could see was flab and fat and bloating and I felt just awful.

I wanted out of my body and I really really wanted to self harm. At the same time though I really didn’t want to have to deal with hiding cuts and scars from my boyfriend, and all the other nastiness that comes with self-harming. Instead, I took my rage out on my blog, hence the fat rant last night.

So while it was a bit of a negative post, for me it was in fact progress that I took it out on my screen instead of on myself. I cried myself to sleep and this morning I woke up so relieved I hadn’t cut. I went for an early (chilly- winter is coming!) run and that cleared my head a little. I am still horribly bloated and cramping but I know it will pass.

One step back, one step forward…somedays I guess we just need to hang on tight and hope for the best.

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One thought on “Noticing progress in the strangest things

  1. I’m so proud of your for not self-harming and for taking it out on your blog here where you can get support, rather than taking it out on yourself. I know how difficult it is to fight the urge to self-harm. You did so well. Give yourself a pat on the back! X

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