So, last night was a bit rough!
I’ve felt under the weather all week, my IBS has been playing up and then I had a meal out with a friend last night and it just tipped me over the edge. I barely made it into my car before I started crying, I got home and purged my dinner and then all I could see was flab and fat and bloating and I felt just awful.
I wanted out of my body and I really really wanted to self harm. At the same time though I really didn’t want to have to deal with hiding cuts and scars from my boyfriend, and all the other nastiness that comes with self-harming. Instead, I took my rage out on my blog, hence the fat rant last night.
So while it was a bit of a negative post, for me it was in fact progress that I took it out on my screen instead of on myself. I cried myself to sleep and this morning I woke up so relieved I hadn’t cut. I went for an early (chilly- winter is coming!) run and that cleared my head a little. I am still horribly bloated and cramping but I know it will pass.
One step back, one step forward…somedays I guess we just need to hang on tight and hope for the best.