I just ate a whole bag of chocolate peanuts. It was an excessive amount. I was eating them and realising I was going to have to throw up. How could I possibly live with that many extra calories inside me? I was mad about this as I am 6 days purge free and really wanted to get to a week and now I had ruined it. Somewhere within this anxiety then a little quiet voice reminded me that I hadn’t ruined it yet, that I was still in control and that I had a choice to make: purge now and feel better for a while and then feel awful, or feel awful now for a while and then feel amazing later when I have gotten through it.
I’m excited to say my quiet roar won out, and it’s now an hour later and I haven’t purged. I’m on my way out to meet some girls for a run (I was going anyway- this isn’t a purging thing) and yes I’ll probably feel wobbly and gross for a little while but it won’t last.
Feeling very proud of myself- and amazed I actually made the right decision!
Hope you all have managed to have a positive day too.