I’m getting ready for a night out with some friends and I am feeling horribly big. Big, flabby, wide, full, all of those nasty things. I want my thin body back, even though it was never thin enough. I just want to be smaller than this.
And then I remember that this is the body which might give me children one day. This is body that my boyfriend might want to see walking down the aisle at some point in the future. This is the body will carry me to a sub 4 marathon. This is the body that will walk me across the stage at my phd graduation. This body has long nails and shiny hair. This body will enjoy a glass of wine tonight. This body will dance with my friends and fall into bed from tiredness from fun, not exhaustion from restriction and binge-purging.
This is the body that I will live with, not die with. This is my body, so dress on, hair done, smile emerging…time to go live.