Me vs. changing rooms

I’ve always been a pretty average clothes shopper. I enjoy when I’m lucky enough to have the chance to buy new clothes but I can generally only tolerate an hour or so before I get bored and a bit fed up. I find it easier if I’m not looking for something specific, but I generally don’t go shopping unless it’s necessary.

Due to my ‘changing body’ (ie weight gain- bleurgh) I have needed new clothes recently. I’ve very little spring/summer work pieces that fit properly. I have a bundle of ‘used to fit’ stuff on top of my wardrobe (which I know I should throw out so it stops haunting me and making me think ‘maybe I could just lose weight for the summer’) but only a few items that I feel comfortable in and actually like.

Cue shopping. I went into town after work determined not to leave empty handed but after one shop and trying on eight garments I couldn’t do anymore. I can’t bear to look in the mirror, I hate the flabbiness and the jiggliness. I’m wobbly and pale and scarred and it honestly hurts to look at my horrible body.

I have been this size before and not felt like this, but after being a size or two smaller for the last year I’m finding it really hard to readjust. I’m clearly not ready for shopping yet. In the battle of me vs. changing rooms, the changing rooms are definitely winning-sigh.


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