Day to myself

I have a whole day to myself at home and I am really looking forward to it. I have a list of house/ garden/work things I want to get done and it’s lovely to have a whole day free to get on with things. BUT I really need to make sure I don’t just spend the day B/P-ing. This is under my control and it’s my choice- so I am putting every effort into not engaging in behaviours today. I have far nicer things to do!

Here goes nothing!

I’m living with a boy

My boyfriend and I moved in together this week. I’ve never lived with a boyfriend before so this is a very big step. We talked about it for a while though and we know how serious we are about each other so we feel it’s the right decision.

It’s brilliant so far in terms of sharing our space and getting to see him more but the food thing has been hard. I had prepared myself somewhat for this in terms of getting myself to a place where I was well enough to live with him but I hadn’t really prepared myself for some of the nitty gritty details such as… (more…)

Shut down

I’ve had a busy, stressful week with some deadlines at work, a house move and then an emotional time with my family while home for the weekend due to some stuff. I have been surviving but I feel like the only way I’ve been able to do this is to switch myself off, shut myself down. I’ve been going about my daily life but without feeling any emotion whatsoever- I think if I actually let myself feel I might crumble and stop functioning. I know I’ll need to sit with the thoughts/feelings and address them at some point but I feel they’re going to be overwhelming so I’m putting it off. Does anyone else get like this? I want to just ride it out and hope everything just gets better but I know from experience this is a risky game and far more likely to lead me to upping ED behaviours and not wanting to get out of bed. So I will switch myself back on soon, just not right now, but soon. Sigh, sometimes it takes a lot of energy to be okay doesn’t it?