Not so miserable

I’m feeling a bit more like myself again today. I took some actions to make myself feel better and they seem to have worked.

1) I kept eating and didn’t b/p so my body had enough nutrition and energy to help my pick myself back up. This is typically the first thing to go when I’m feeling down so I’m really excited that I managed to keep this on track. I’ve felt HUGE the last few days and while I might have been eating a little less it was still a healthy amount as part of me know that restricting would just end up in b/p and neither of these were going to help me feel better.

2) I went running with my club on Monday. I’ve been injured so haven’t been running the last while and I knew the first session back would be a killer so I forced myself out and did a nice easy run and caught up with friends I haven’t seen since New Year.

3) My friend texted to see if I was alright as she has a ‘spidey sense’ something was up and I was honest with her. I didn’t mention the self-harming but I said I’d been down but didn’t want to talk about it but things were on the up. Even reaching out a little seemed to have helped.

4) I put in  a good day’s work and got through some of my to do list. While being curled up in bed staring at the wall for hours was really the only thing I wanted to do after three days I knew it wasn’t making things better so I got showered, dressed and faced the world, and actually felt a lot better for it (and I think the world felt a lot better for me showering!)

Depression is so frustrating as the things that will help are often the hardest to do when you’re feeling down. I definitely think the anti-depressants are helping- a 3 day ‘blip’ is nothing compared to the long drawn out blackness of last year. So while it’s been a cr*ppy few days, I do think I’m coming out of it the other end actually feeling somewhat positive- I did not see that coming!

Hope you’re all doing well. H.

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