Miserable

I’m in an awful mood. Have been for a few days now. I don’t know why. Things are fine. Work and boyfriend and friends are all good and I’ve been managing really well with food. Body image has been shaky and then I had a couple of drinks last week and self harmed when I got home. I haven’t cut in ages, years, but then I was so upset that that was the only thing I could think of that would make me feel better. And it did, until the next morning of course when I felt worse and then didn’t get out of bed for two days. I could have easily stayed in bed today too but I had to go into work.

I’m miserable and down and while I know it won’t last forever I really hate feeling like this. I told my boyfriend, but I made a joke of it so I don’t really think he understands. I’ve been avoiding everyone else, even sending a text seems like too much work.

I know I need to pull myself together, but I just need a little longer curled up in bed staring at the wall…

Sigh.

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