Today’s challenge was eating a proper dinner after being out with running club. It’s about 8.30pm by the time I get to eat so I often just have a cup-a-soup or some fruit or something as it seems silly to eat this late. A while ago I my nurse pointed out to me that it’s part of an overall pattern of not fuelling myself enough which then results in either more restricting (because starvation sets off the crazy voices) or binging (and the inevitable purging) so I really have tried to work on it. However, the pattern I fell into was to eat a proper dinner, feel too full, and then be sick- probably not what she had in mind!
So today I put effort into managing this, and made a slice of cheese on toast (I can’t believe I’m typing this for the world to see- cheese and bread used to be total no go foods, nice to see how far I’ve come regarding some of that stuff!). I grilled it and then plated it and then suddenly this rationale being overtook me “one slice of cheese and toast is not dinner”. It’s not enough to keep me going until tomorrow morning and it’s not enough to replace energy after a run. So I added some salad and some cup-a-soup and then some salt and vinegar rice cakes (on nom nom) which now seems like way too much food but I’m distracting myself by posting then I’m going to dry my hair and go to bed. I really need to figure out some good post-run-not-too big-dinners (all vegetarian suggestions very welcome) but for now, that is day 3, whoop!